R.I.P. Blossom

Well, yesterday was a terrible day. We lost our beloved lil Blossom, our 3 month old Chi-Pom pup, to the wrath of my Mother-In-Law's automobile and hasty driving. All sorts of emotions were triggered and I had an absolute meltdown after hanging by a thread for weeks, courtesy of all the recent stress of moving, paycuts, and living with my in-laws. Walking on eggshells is no fun, but letting your feelings out sure does feel good when you're doing it.

Still, occasionally, I'm not sure whether to be more upset over losing Blossom, my MIL's reaction, or the fact that I just spent $200 on dog accessories for our darling lil chi-pom (guess that last one is the tight-wad in me coming out)..... Well, then there's the fact that Booger (Reese's 3 month old, Chug) is now without his sister, his litter mate, his bed feller, his playmate, and cries through the night without her. AGH.  *Tears* Then there's having to hear my two year old retell the tale. :( She's now stuck to Booger like glue. And he's clingier than ever. *More Tears*



I'm trying my best to be graceful about everything that went on and was said yesterday, as the comments went beyond the loss of the pup - and I mean, it wasn't like I was told anything I didn't already know anyhow - and vice versa. I just hate settling and just living in tolerance. Nothing would be more relieving than to lash out on here with all the emotions I'm having, but I just keep praying to the Lord to keep my mouth shut, while I continue to cry over 'spilt milk'.

WooHoo! I'm Back!

It's kind of hard for me to believe it's been over 4 months since I've posted. I FINALLY got my crashed laptop back up and running thanks to the help of my tech savvy lil cousin. And... we have been moving, we're actually still moving. We're saying goodbye to South Central KY and hello again to Southeastern KY. Big move right? Well... 3 hour drive house to house. Now, if only our home would sell so we could get on with things.... like.... bickering over where we're gonna build a house, what type we're going to build, and so forth. I REALLY miss not having my own home.

Right now we're shacked up with my in-laws, who are also working on moving to the suburbs, giving up this . . . skunkenated place. Seriously, when to the pot one night, was sitting there, wiping my hind end, and I hear the sounds of scurrying lil feet . . . uh oh . . . what is it . . . I look down to the vent in front of my feet and staring up at me . . . yep . . . you guessed it . . . a SKUNK! I didn't know whether to crap or get off the pot. lol. I just remember sitting still for a very long time . . . and to this day I cannot remember if I got up with it still staring or if it finally went away. Needless to say, I've been scarred for life. Midnight potty breaks are almost terroristic for me now.

I guess that's another reason I'm semi-thankful we're not expecting baby #3 yet. And . . . don't get me wrong, it's not that we don't want more children, but between my back pain, the moving, dh taking a major paycut, and tandem nursing . . . it's kind of the farthest thing from my mind right now. . . getting pregnant I mean. . . and doing what it takes to get that way. haha.

Another benefit to waiting to TTC #3 . . . no additional medical bills (and more time for me to round up a midwife and fellow doula willing to travel to the boondocks!). Yep, got dr. bills coming out my ears from the accident. I'm having issues with car insurance only paid 90%, out of PIP coverage, still need treament (PT), etc..... I'm so frustrated. Sometimes I'm not sure what's worse . . . the emotional distress or the pure physical pain. I've got baseball bat back . . . feels like all you readers took a swing at me. . . thank goodness there's only 8 of you then, right? :P

Got my hair chopped off today, shortest it's been since.... idk.... 3rd grade? Cute though. I like it. Pretty sure Garrett won't, since well... it's SHORT. Maybe when I get more settled in I can share some updated photos of me. . . and the girls . . . and our new homeplace . . . and our new pups!

Booger - he's a CHUG. Blossom - she's a Chi Pom. Crate Training has been an on again off again adventure......... a tale to tell some other time, because now I'm pooped. Time to crawl in bed and snuggle with my BrookE Bear.

Before I step out.........

can I just say that sometimes, for various reasons, being a woman is not so grand. The most prime example being . . . getting your period. I mean, seriously, other than the fact that our menstrual cycles are what gives us the ability to conceive and grow humans inside us, it's just icky and inconvenient. Thank goodness for the Diva cup. I know some of you are looking at it and saying "eeewwww", but seriously, it is soooooo much easier, cleaner, and cheaper than anything Always or Tampax has in it's boxes. The FDA has no restrictions on what Disposable Feminine Hygiene Producers can't put in their products. As a result, they're full of toxic chemicals that cause you to have a heavier, longer, and more painful period. Your bodies natural reaction to these harsh chemicals is to thicken the uterine lining, keep the cervix closed tighter,etc. to protect itself. Obviously, if the uterine lining is thicker you're gonna have more blood to lose. If the cervix is closed tighter, it's gonna take longer for it all to drain out. Wonderful thoughts, yes? Switching to a reusable menstrual cup like the Diva, Moon, or Keeper Menstrual Cups will change your life! Your periods will be lighter, shorter, and wayyyyy less painful. Mine went from 7-9 days to 3-5 days.
I was no longer downing half a bottle of ibuprofen every month or laying out for an entire week because the cramps kept me tied down to a heating pad all day. Granted, it took a few months after my switch from sposies to the cup, in combination with cloth pads, to see the difference, but once I did, there has been no return. And no, it's not that hard to insert and cloth pads are easy to wash and wayyyyy less irritating than a kotex. Cloth liners are the bomb diggity. Find a great selection of cloth liners and pads to accomodate your new purchase of a reusable menstrual cup on www.hyenacart.com.

Happy Monthly!

I will be back...

dk when. dk with what. but i will be posting to the blog regularly again sometime hopefully in the near future. just wanted to let my readers know. :P things have been chaotic at my house lately between food allergies, bloody diapers, travels, etc. they are starting to smooth out and im beginning to recoup, but it's still gonna be a bit yet. phew.

Yeah, you could say I'm outspoken....

Just because I share my research & experience based opinions with you doesn't mean I expect you to follow through with what I'd do in your situation . . . but I do hope that more folks out there would start making informed decisions about their birth and the caring of their children. I mean, really, how many moms out there can tell you what their kids are even vaccinated against? much less, what's in those vaccines?

I hear so many people saying things like.... "well my doctor said....." - I cringe over how much trust people put in their doctors to give them all the information needed to make a decision or to even make the decision for them . . . like . . . inducing at 39 weeks. Or... .how about the scare tactics of . . . going past your due date puts your baby at risk?! At risk of what? Proper brain & lung development?

So I'm a lil heated tonight.... after congregating with some of my fellow Doulas in the area, boy do we have fun; Between sharing birth stories about moms worrying themselves sick over the possibilty of pooping themselves in front of someone during labor and then when it really happens not giving a hoot who saw it... or how about..practically moaning our client's baby out ourselves - We are a riot. THANK YOU M.H. for sharing such awesome birth stories! Laughing with friends is sooooooo wonderful!

Now, if only I hadn't had to come home to an empty house . . . It's just me and my Brooke Lou til Satuday. Reese travelled back to the hometown with her Daddy to catch up on some corn planting after getting rained out two weekends in a row. Brooke and I are venturing over Saturday to pitch in (if you consider bringing ice cold Mtn. Dews down to the field for the boys "pitching in".). We'd head over tomorrow if I didn't have 3 weeks worth of recycling spilling out of the bins in the kitchen, but... its all saved... oh... 3 bags of trash from going in the landfill?! Getting crunchier by the day . . .

Adding another book to my wish list.... I've heard nothing but good things so far from friends . . . I don't think we quite need it, but it couldn't hurt, right? Or maybe I need the Toddler version? Yeah, that could be it.... I really do think Brooke sleeps better than Reese. Of course, last night we ended up with both of em in bed with us... crammed between us in our queen size...

I'm really looking forward to getting some sewing done tomorrow.... I really need to get things going again on the shop, I seem to go in spurts there, too. Things just come up, get me off schedule, and it's really difficult to get back on with 2 lil ones and all our travelling. I also need to get some reading and charts and things done for some clients..... There's always plenty of questions that can be asked and lots to learn when trying to answer them.