Cord Clamping & Disappointment

So, I was browsing Facebook when a video share from Moo said the mama caught my eye. It was a video regarding umbilical cord clamping after childbirth, something done , unfortunately, but typically, immediately following the baby's emergence into the outside world.

Cord clamping (except when medically necessary) should be delayed until all pulsation of the cord has ceased & the placenta has delivered, ensuring mother & baby are ready to be physically separated; This video supported just that. Think of it like this: You wouldn't buy 20 oz bottles and only fill them 16 oz full. So why would you deprive the body of a newborn baby of additional blood supply? However, most care providers in a hospital setting don't have the time to spare to allow what needs to or should happen to occur. Again, obstetric care revolves around convenience. It can take 2.5 hours for a cord to stop pulsating. That's 2.5 hours the hurried provider could be . . . uhmm.... putting more women on their backs w/ their feet in stirrups to push babies out in the most physiologically unpleasing position and making those mothers feel inferior to them .

Well, this all then triggered some ill feelings in me, feelings of disappointment, in me, my previous care providers during the deliveries of my daughters, my husband, etc.

OKAY OKAY . . . yes, I have some STRONG feelings when it comes to birth and doctors, including certified nurse midwives, although I hear the one that attended mine is in a league of her own, and I think she "had it in for me" after I "disobeyed" her and breastfed my firstborn throughout my pregnancy.

With baby #2, I desperately wanted a homebirth, even consulted with a local midwife, but.... my husband just wasn't game. He felt it was too risky (although a hospital really poses more) and he was sure I would want that glorified epidural. Anyone who knows me, knows that if you tell me I can't do something, that just motivates me that much more to do it! My mother says she always utilized reverse psychology on me for this reason, though it sometimes worked out to her disadvantage.

I laid out a birth plan for what I hoped to be an ALL NATURAL (not just pain med free) birth. I discussed it with my CNM. She was pretty cooperative, more so than the OB I had switched from, but she wasn't in full agreeance. One thing she said she COULD NOT do was wait for the cord to stop pulsating before she clamped it, but she said she would delay it, not do it immediately. I should've asked what her definition of "delayed" was apparently quite different. Brooke had not been out of the birth canal for more than 30 seconds when she asked my husband to cut the cord after she'd clamped it.  He went ahead.

There's nothing MY husband would've said to change things, he really didn't know better and he would've had to speak up BEFORE the clamp, not sure he cared all that much (that's a whole nother ball game right there). I think he saw my Birth Plan as a bit of a power struggle between me and my CNM, since I am a bit of a control freak. But hey... I was the one giving birth, should I get to be the control freak? And before the cord clamp I was already disappointed by previous intervention/rules.

I had a doula attending my birth, but... she wasn't use to the treachery a woman was to take on inside on those hospital walls, her children and the births she'd attended, all but 1, had been in a home. I wish she'd spoke up more often and asked if I wanted to at least talk about my options (well before it go to the cord clamping btw). Of course, I do feel like her presence alone made this a much better birth than it would've been without her and I am forever grateful to her for that. And she is a big reason as to why I decided to pursue becoming a birth doula myself (Still working on my certification thru DONA btw ;-).I just wish she'd been there to hold my hand at home instead of that dag on hospital. UGH.

I could write all night, criticizing my births, my care providers, my choices, but it, unfortunately, won't change a damn thing. I have two healthy daughters and that's important, but I wanted more. And one's birth experience, good or bad, is something not ever forgotten. I hate having to live with that regret.

So... I'm figuring by the time baby.. uhm... idk... #8 gets here I'll have this birthing thing down... what do you think? Will it take that many? Let's hope not. 3rd time's a charm right? And the rest will NOT be born in a hospital unless medically necessary a.k.a. @ home.

I hope my husband knows I'm "keep my legs closed" serious about this..........