Friday, October 29, 2010

Is Ignorance Really Bliss? (Childbirth)

OK. So I just finished reading a few articles and columns today. My internet is working a bit faster, thank goodness! And I came across some disturbing statements. One in particular, stood out amongst the dozen others that had me gasping and sighing.

"Why does it matter how your baby got here [or how you feed it]? You have a baby!"  - kinda goes hand in hand with another frequent comment - "All that matters is that you have a healthy baby."

Seriously? It does matter how you give birth, because how you give birth directly impacts you, your baby, your recovery time, your breastfeeding experience, you future birth experiences, etc.

I chose to give birth vaginally & drug free because I knew it was what was best for me and my baby. Medical interventions like epidurals, pitocin, etc. are not without risks. The problem is, hospital staff and your OB tend to spare you the whole truth. They leave you with "You'll fee like a new woman in ten!" as the anethesiologist walks out after inserting that giant epidural needle in your back. He doesn't say things like "Oh, by they way, this could cause brain damage."

When the nurse tells you to lay down, stop getting up to pee so much because you're causing problems with the monitoring system, and she'll check you for the 4th time in 2 hours - she's not telling you that not emptying your bladder can slow your labor or that with each exam she increases your risk of infection, and . . . oh . . . the dreaded . . . delivering on your back makes your mores susceptible to . . . TEARING! Which seems to be alot of womens biggest fear when it comes to their bodies during labor.

Sure, everyone wants to give birth to a healthy baby. However, I want to give birth to the healthiest baby I possibly can. I don't want to increase my baby's risk for any kind of complication by going on pitocin at 39.5 weeks because I'm tired of being pregnant. An enormous part of being a mother is about being selfless, and that would be a selfish choice to me. I want my babies' to develop to their full extent in womb. I don't wanna risk them having respiratory distress because I was impatient. Leave the selfishness to the OB, they're the ones demanding you give birth on your back because it's easier for them to "deliver". I mean, you can sacrifice your vajayjay for your OB, but you can't give another week or two to your unborn baby to ensure they have proper lung and brain development?

I guess what this comes down to, for me, is that there is a difference in having just a healthy baby and having the healthiest baby you have the opportunity to have. I have chosen to birth naturally, breastfeed until my children self-wean, select-delay vaccinate, stay at home, buy organic food, clean with vinegar, cloth diaper, etc.. to give my children the opportunity to live the healthiest lives they can - not to mention, having super healthy kids has it's perks for momma, too; like fewer medical bills. Brooke is just over a year old now and has only been to the Dr. one time for something other than an early check up - and that was because of a bad bump on the noggin, courtesy of her outdoor loving, but sneaky big sister.

So, I beg of you gals, don't rely on your doctor to give you all the info you need about birth or breastfeeding through the pamphlets on the side tables in the office waiting room or that lofty book about pregnancy and babies you picked up at the local bookstore. Do your own real research and ask lots of questions.

Becase . . . you have to wonder... with all the risks of medical interventions related to childbirth, is ignorance really bliss?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Evening Whine

Feeling a bit drained tonight; physically and emotionally exhausted. The stress of moving, decreased income (by choice, with hubby taking the new job that brought us back to our hometown - and involuntarily, by having to step away from sewing after the wreck a few months ago), living with family, having two toddlers, house training our chihweenie pup, trying to sell our home, hubby having to work out of town overnight alot, and, of course, the agonizing neck & back pain from the wreck really have me worn down. Brooke isn't sleeping well at night and Momma's gotta keep the milk bar open. 4 hours of sleep just isn't enought to keep up optimum function of the human body, especially one that's outting around 2 lbs of milk a day to a couple of 'nuggling' girls.

 I've gained 15 lbs since we were rear-ended by that semi, haven't been able to do much of anything since then, jogging stroller has been stored away in the closet, no longer live near a YMCA, and, then, there's Dr.'s orders not to do anything. I just wanna scream everytime I look in the mirror, although the new haircut I got is quite nice, along with my new, more mature looking glasses. But still, there's that hideous tag inside those Polo Jeans I found at Goodwill last week . . . . Ya know though, it's not really the numbers that scare me, it's the fact that walking halfway thru the mall yesterday left me winded!!!!! Not cool! However, I did find a nice new purse 75%  off by accident, that I LOVE!

Ok, now that I've had me a semi pity party - I'm thinking about tomorrow, what will the day bring? Rain? How many tantrums? And over what? What am I gonna fix for lunch? Ugh, we're out of butter. . . Should we go out on the town? Gosh, I hate driving. Maybe visit a friend? Thank goodness Garrett will be home tomorrow. *Sigh* Gots a ton of stuff to return to various stores (laundry detergent, girly doggy outfits, etc.). Wish I had more of those Carrot cake w/ cream cheese icing cupcakes from Brooke's birthday party, I sure put em away yesterday . . . . bah . . and I wonder why my waistline keeps growing. . . . oh well, my kids still love me. :P

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Seeing Improvement

I consider myself pretty mature for a 23 year old, but for some reason . . . I'm like a magnet for young kids. I'm not complaining or anything, but. . . after yesterdays Church hayride and picnic I now know about all the youth and children's names, but still less than half of the adults. *blush* Of course, I think the fact that I was packing around Booger was part of the magnetism, especially since as one feller said, he's like a lil abercrombie pup in his purple moose sweater. lol. But now I think that lil model pup is constipated thanks to a lil too much hot dog. ugh.

I really enjoy working with younger kids. . . like . . . middle school age. I've contemplated finishing my degree but with a change of major from Elem. Ed to Middle Grades Language Arts & Social Studies? IDK. Just a backup plan in case this whole running my own business and doula practice doesn't work out too well in the next few years. I can't go back to school, even if I want to, until the girls, at least Reese, is in school... Yes. FREE. PUBLIC school. I'd like to homeschool, but DH thinks it'll turn our kids into social under developed weirdos or something. Daycare is just soooo costly and I'd really rather raise my own kids if I have the choice, a choice I know many women aren't fortunate enough to have.

Speaking of costly things . . . anyone else holding their breath to see what their insurance rates are going up to? Phew. I'm dreading it. I guess I should just be thankful my kids rarely get sick and need a trip to the doctor. Bout all we utilize our insurance for these days is chiropractic care. I've become fond of herbal remedies as well.

LALALA . . . well, just wanted to sort of chat a lil, preparing for what I hope will be a smooth fun filled day of travelling and shopping in good ol' Lexington, KY. I have a ton of stuff to return to Gymboree. Reese chunkered up and outgrew her fall/winer clothes I bought for her in late summer. We're also going to visit my big little Brother, Shane - college senior, and driver of a 1978 vw van.

Maybe I'll pop in for a recap of today's events this evening. Appreciate you readers. Hope the rest of yalls weekend is splendid as well!!!!

Friday, October 22, 2010

R.I.P. Blossom

Well, yesterday was a terrible day. We lost our beloved lil Blossom, our 3 month old Chi-Pom pup, to the wrath of my Mother-In-Law's automobile and hasty driving. All sorts of emotions were triggered and I had an absolute meltdown after hanging by a thread for weeks, courtesy of all the recent stress of moving, paycuts, and living with my in-laws. Walking on eggshells is no fun, but letting your feelings out sure does feel good when you're doing it.

Still, occasionally, I'm not sure whether to be more upset over losing Blossom, my MIL's reaction, or the fact that I just spent $200 on dog accessories for our darling lil chi-pom (guess that last one is the tight-wad in me coming out)..... Well, then there's the fact that Booger (Reese's 3 month old, Chug) is now without his sister, his litter mate, his bed feller, his playmate, and cries through the night without her. AGH.  *Tears* Then there's having to hear my two year old retell the tale. :( She's now stuck to Booger like glue. And he's clingier than ever. *More Tears*

I'm trying my best to be graceful about everything that went on and was said yesterday, as the comments went beyond the loss of the pup - and I mean, it wasn't like I was told anything I didn't already know anyhow - and vice versa. I just hate settling and just living in tolerance. Nothing would be more relieving than to lash out on here with all the emotions I'm having, but I just keep praying to the Lord to keep my mouth shut, while I continue to cry over 'spilt milk'.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

WooHoo! I'm Back!

It's kind of hard for me to believe it's been over 4 months since I've posted. I FINALLY got my crashed laptop back up and running thanks to the help of my tech savvy lil cousin. And... we have been moving, we're actually still moving. We're saying goodbye to South Central KY and hello again to Southeastern KY. Big move right? Well... 3 hour drive house to house. Now, if only our home would sell so we could get on with things.... like.... bickering over where we're gonna build a house, what type we're going to build, and so forth. I REALLY miss not having my own home.

Right now we're shacked up with my in-laws, who are also working on moving to the suburbs, giving up this . . . skunkenated place. Seriously, when to the pot one night, was sitting there, wiping my hind end, and I hear the sounds of scurrying lil feet . . . uh oh . . . what is it . . . I look down to the vent in front of my feet and staring up at me . . . yep . . . you guessed it . . . a SKUNK! I didn't know whether to crap or get off the pot. lol. I just remember sitting still for a very long time . . . and to this day I cannot remember if I got up with it still staring or if it finally went away. Needless to say, I've been scarred for life. Midnight potty breaks are almost terroristic for me now.

I guess that's another reason I'm semi-thankful we're not expecting baby #3 yet. And . . . don't get me wrong, it's not that we don't want more children, but between my back pain, the moving, dh taking a major paycut, and tandem nursing . . . it's kind of the farthest thing from my mind right now. . . getting pregnant I mean. . . and doing what it takes to get that way. haha.

Another benefit to waiting to TTC #3 . . . no additional medical bills (and more time for me to round up a midwife and fellow doula willing to travel to the boondocks!). Yep, got dr. bills coming out my ears from the accident. I'm having issues with car insurance only paid 90%, out of PIP coverage, still need treament (PT), etc..... I'm so frustrated. Sometimes I'm not sure what's worse . . . the emotional distress or the pure physical pain. I've got baseball bat back . . . feels like all you readers took a swing at me. . . thank goodness there's only 8 of you then, right? :P

Got my hair chopped off today, shortest it's been since.... idk.... 3rd grade? Cute though. I like it. Pretty sure Garrett won't, since well... it's SHORT. Maybe when I get more settled in I can share some updated photos of me. . . and the girls . . . and our new homeplace . . . and our new pups!

Booger - he's a CHUG. Blossom - she's a Chi Pom. Crate Training has been an on again off again adventure......... a tale to tell some other time, because now I'm pooped. Time to crawl in bed and snuggle with my BrookE Bear.